April 19, 2012

As if in a Dream

I have seen the bridegroom coming as a mighty warrior, with His foot in Tzion, and the other in the Sea. He comes with an army of horsemen, calling on the shofars of war. I see a battle- no, a slaughter- the destruction of a people, amid the cries of men, and the screams of women and children. I watch as judgement is pronounced and carried out on those who have refused to repent and disregarded the word of warning. And yet, in their own pride, they do not recognize this as the cause. Oh, my people! Why do you not hear? Do you still not know- can you not see? Hear your brothers and heed the warnings! 
"And YHWH answered me and said, 'Write the vision and inscribe it on tablets, so that he who reads it runs. For the vision is yet for an appointed time, and it speaks of the end, and does not lie. If it lingers, wait for it, for it shall certainly come, it shall not delay.'" (Habakkuk 2:2-3)


One cannot read the "minor" prophets without a sinking feeling inside. Knowing that these things are for today makes me want to mourn. Even with it all written down we still choose not to understand. I feel like Daniel must have felt when he knew that it was near the time for the Babylonian captivity to end. The release of one nation meant the destruction of others. The relative comfort of the people of Israel meant that they had to be waked up to the reality of the Father's will.

I can't imagine what it is to not want to go home. I can't imagine what it is to not want truth above all else. I can't imagine what it is to be so comfortable where I'm at that I don't want to move on to what YHWH wants for my future, whatever that may be. That's unfathomable to me- completely foreign. That's the very antithesis of what makes me, me. And yet this is what Scripture repeatedly states is the condition of my people. Of the majority of all people. Of even the remnants YHWH has saved.

People get worse as history progresses. The cycle always ends up with "they were worse than their fathers before them," no matter which nation rises up. YHWH always has to destroy a world system to get people's attention. In the End, He destroys the majority of the world to get people to repent. Are we really that stupid, prideful, stubborn? How do we, as people in general, not get that? How can we turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to YHWH's word and deed? Are we so arrogantly bold as to look our heavenly Father in the face and say "NO"?

I don't understand how people can do that. I don't understand that at all. And yet, history continues to go in circles... Half of me wants to shake somebody, or stand on the top of the walls reading the words that the prophets spoke, to anyone who will listen. The other half of me just wants to curl up in a corner, cry, and pretend it's all a bad dream rather than reality. And then there's that small sliver that just tries to take life a day at a time, enjoying what there is to enjoy.

Sometimes, it seems like that sliver has all but disappeared. But then our Peonies bloom, big, and white, and pleasantly scented. While we are all enjoying the evening shade on the lawn, Mom says that I ought to take pictures of them soon. My littlest sister, who is riding on the swing, thinks that Mom had actually said I ought to "Take pictures of the panties soon." We all smile and happily end our day, to start over again tomorrow. And I realize that maybe that sliver is still there after all.

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