October 20, 2016

Making A Mark

Boy am I glad life hasn't quite gone as I'd planned... I mean, sure, there's been plenty of stuff I would happily not ever deal with. Ever. But the whole going places, seeing things, making my mark on the world thing? That would have been bad news. What mark would my hurting, angry, stressed out, controlling, unsure self have made? Not a good one. Not one I'd wish to be remembered for. I see all sorts of people who were highly influential early on, grew a little- or a lot- and had to back track. But by then, the damage is done. Instead of truly making a beneficial impact, they end up spending the rest of their lives attempting to fix the problem they helped to create. I don't want to live that way.

...I was just pondering today, here I'm going on mid-twenties, and my childhood vision has yet to be realized. I thought I'd already be doing so many things right now. But honestly? I'm grateful I'm not. I'm grateful for God's intervention and teaching throughout these past several years. I've grown closer to Him. I've begun to have a better understanding of who I am. And of how He would have me interact with the world around me. In a literal and spiritual sense. What it really could look like to approach life in a manner truly Christlike. And that this is done only by his grace, and through His strength. Because I am human. I'm not perfect. And neither is anyone else. And that's okay. 'Cuz that's the point. We're not perfect. That's why we need Him. We. Need. Him.

Its not my mark that needs to be made. It's his. And he already made it. It's my job to live like I believe it.

And if I go places, see things, meet people? That'll be okay. But it doesn't have to happen all at once. ...I've got a lifetime to wander... But it's probably better I don't make my own mark. For everyone. My only hope is that through me the value of His mark shows. 

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